Recent Stories

Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | May 16, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt …

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Her mother died suddenly

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | May 9, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am a marriage and family therapist with a 55 year old female client who is the only surviving member of her family  Her mother died suddenly and unexpectedly last year and she’s given up all her many interests.  She is full of anxiety and fear–seems agoraphobic–having panic attacks and hot flashes …

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Blaming Myself for My Mother’s Death

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | May 2, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I stop blaming myself for my mother’s death?  She was 85 and 18 hours away from heart valve replacement, doing well, ready for it.  She was told to walk some before surgery, and her last walk was fatal.  I think I could have stopped her from overdoing it, but I …

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I am losing the final piece of him Ask Dr. Neimeyer 4.25.22

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 25, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away nearly a dozen years ago and I have been receiving his Social Security Benefits since that time. On my birthday next Spring I will be taking my own Social Security.  My question is:  Why do I feel so apprehensive about taking mine and giving up my husband’s?  This is the …

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Grief Therapy in the Emergency Room

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 11, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I know from you writings and my own experience as a social worker in other settings that people contending with a traumatic loss benefit from having a safe space to slowly and fully tell the story of their loved one’s death, and reflect on its meaning for their lives. This can be …

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A Son Grieves for his Sister

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 4, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 18-year old son lost his sister (age 10) two years ago, as a result of cancer. He had a very close relationship with her and was and still is devastated as he grieves for his sister. He has so much anger around her death but he won’t ever talk to me about his grief.  He …

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Coping with multiple losses

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 28, 2022 | 0 Comments

Editor’s Note–We thought this was highly relevant during the pandemic. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why is it so hard? I lost my sister in the Spring, then my husband a month later, then my son two months later. It’s been a losing battle I just don’t know how to handle this. Phyllis Dear Phyllis– When a …

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Healing Transitions for Parents

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 21, 2022 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a counselor with a good deal of experience in working with grief,  I have been hired to present at a senior retirement community in my city.  The audience will be potential patrons who are looking to move their widowed parents from their homes into a facility.  The topic of the presentation …

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“I Lost My Husband…”

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 14, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my husband one year ago. My biggest problem is our children live so far away and only visit once a year. I feel so isolated because they are so busy with their lives and I am not included. One daughter will call weekly and the other daughter very rarely calls …

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Getting through grief without anti-depressants?

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 7, 2022 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Is the best and probably only way to get through complicated grief through the use of anti-depressants? Thanks. Demi   Dear Demi, Both clinical experience and clinical research suggest that antidepressant medication is a mixed blessing in the context of bereavement, for several reasons. In fact, for many years psychiatrists agreed that …

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