Loss of a Child — Guest Column

Editor’s Note: This week we are printing a response to last week’s  “Loss of a Child — Choosing to Forgive,” Dr. Neimeyer’s answer to a mother whose child died tragically. The author, Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP has written for AfterTalk several times in the past, and we value her thoughts. Below is the original question

Continue reading





Making time to grieve

Dr. Neimeyer, While grieving of a dear one is very personal, how would you suggest to stop my friends who keep doing different things to interrupt me during the time that I want to be stay alone? As obvious as it is, I need my time to feel sad, my time to internalize being left

Continue reading



Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt

Continue reading



I Lost My Older Brother… Grieving and Depression

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my older brother just a few weeks ago. I feel so sad and depressed. Plus I have major depression and an anxiety disorder, panic disorder too. Could losing my brother make me have lapse back into a deep depression again? -Phoebe Dear Phoebe, The short answer to your question is “Yes,

Continue reading



A Wife’s Suicide

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My wife took her own life a few months ago, and it has busted me wide open. I’m better than where I was but far from being better. I wrestle with the coulda, shoulda, woulda of survivor guilt and anger. I miss her terribly, and now have somewhat come to terms that this

Continue reading



Five Principles for Managing Grief in the New Year

EDITOR’S NOTE: WE THOUGHT THIS WAS WORTH REPEATING AS THE NEW YEAR LOOMS Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have

Continue reading





Anticipatory Grieving and Parents: somatic symptom disorders

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a physician and psychiatrist, and I have a question for you given your decades of work in both the theory and clinical practice around grief/bereavement. I am trained as a pediatrician, and also as an adult + child/adolescent psychiatrist. I now work as a psychiatrist, embedded with the pediatric palliative care

Continue reading