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Complicated Grief: A therapist asks about the loss of a daughter

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 19, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have been working intermittently for many years with a woman named Pam who was divorced when her adult children were adolescents, as a result of the father’s unpredictable and violent behavior and alcoholism. Likewise, two of her four children have had long histories of drug and alcohol use, despite her funding …

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On the Pandemic: Ask Dr. Neimeyer 4.12.21

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 12, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am sure that I am not alone in saying that the COVID-19 crisis has rocked my world, and I really don’t know which way to turn.  Of course, like everyone else I am following the advice of medical authorities regarding hand washing, social distancing, curtailing unnecessary travel, and the rest.  But …

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I am losing the final piece of him

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | April 5, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away nearly a dozen years ago and I have been receiving his Social Security Benefits since that time. On my birthday next Spring I will be taking my own Social Security.  My question is:  Why do I feel so apprehensive about taking mine and giving up my husband’s?  This is the …

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Grieving for a Husband/Father During Holiday Season

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 29, 2021 | 0 Comments

Grieving for a Husband/Father During the Holidays Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband Don died 9 months ago after a rapid decline; and his lungs basically stopped working, even with oxygen treatments.  His death has been hard for us as a family in many ways, as he lived only about 6 months after getting the diagnosis, and …

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Holiday Grieving

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 22, 2021 | 1 Comment

Editor’s Note: many approaching the holidays of Easter and Passover with a loss recently behind them, and their grief overlaid with the despair of these times of pandemic. We thought this Dr. Neimeyer column might be helpful–LL Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so now begins my second year without …

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Regret at the Death of a Friend

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 15, 2021 | 0 Comments

Hi Dr. Neimeyer, Please help, as I am not sure what to do. Several years ago I terminated a friendship. Our last contact was ugly, and her husband witnessed my reprehensible behavior. Efforts to clean things up didn’t go well, and I now take full responsibility. While I got some therapy to explore why I acted badly …

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Dealing with his Brother’s Death

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 8, 2021 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I think my adult son is “medicating” himself with alcohol to try to deal with his brother’s death two years ago. He’s an adult and no one can make him go to his doctor or a counselor. He has a good job that I fear he could jeopardize. I know that there …

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Coping with multiple losses

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 1, 2021 | 0 Comments

Editor’s Note–We thought this was highly relevant during the pandemic. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why is it so hard? I lost my sister in the Spring, then my husband a month later, then my son two months later. It’s been a losing battle I just don’t know how to handle this. Phyllis Dear Phyllis– When a …

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Three suggestions for dealing with insensitive consolations

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 22, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband, Joseph, has been gone less than a year, and I can’t believe the stupid things people say to me, trying to make me “feel better.”  “Time heals all wounds–you just need to stay busy,” “You’ve got to look on the bright side; at least you had him all these years,” …

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Fearing the loss of a child

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 15, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Firstly, thank you for providing your expertise online. It has helped me since losing one of my twin sons in his late 20s in a motorcycle accident not long ago. This time has been filled with not only grief for the loss of my very close son, but also worry for his twin brother  who witnessed …

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