Ambiguous Losses: a brother’s cancer diagnosis

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Five years ago my younger brother, Eric, was diagnosed with cancer, though he was only 15 at the time.  Our life as a family seemed to change overnight, as we all were faced with the fear of what this might mean, and my parents became totally absorbed in his chemotherapy, hospitalizations, and

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Grieving and the Holidays

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband Don died 9 months ago after a rapid decline; and his lungs basically stopped working, even with oxygen treatments.  His death has been hard for us as a family in many ways, as he lived only about 6 months after getting the diagnosis, and we are now facing the first Christmas

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Husband’s Suicide: How do I move on?

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband of over 30 years killed himself over two years ago. I went through survival mode the first year, and now have my life “working” in a sense, but still ruminate too much about “why,” and what I could have done to change it. I want peace, to accept that this

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An Ask Dr. Neimeyer Guest Column Parents and Children

Two weeks ago we published an Ask Dr. Neimeyer about the decision process for those who are looking to move their widowed parents from their homes into a facility. You can read it by CLICKING HERE Here is an eloquent response from a widow reader: Dear Dr. Neimeyer, This post from Doris, “Healing Transitions for

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I was not permitted to grieve for my Dad

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was not permitted to grieve for my Dad when he passed over five years ago because of his wife.  I asked her if I could pick the casket out with her and be involved in the planning of his funeral.  She said no and went ahead with it.  Dad and I

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Healing Transitions for Parents

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a counselor with a good deal of experience in working with grief,  I have been hired to present at a senior retirement community in my city.  The audience will be potential patrons who are looking to move their widowed parents from their homes into a facility.  The topic of the presentation

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My teenage son was electrocuted…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My teenage son was electrocuted at home accidentally almost 20 years ago.  My counselor is not happy with my saying he was killed.  I know the difference because about three decades ago, another toddler son  died from a cerebral aneurysm , so in my eyes one died and one was killed and to me

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My Daughter Took Her Own Life

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My only child, my 16 year old daughter, took her own life just one month ago.  She showed no signs at all.  Straight A student, worked as cashier part time, saving money for college.  She just finished her College Boards and got an amazing score.  I know this wasn’t planned–she had placed orders

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