My son died…holding on to good memories

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 26 year old son died 7 years ago after a prolonged battle with a malignant brain tumor. I was his caretaker. He was my first child and my only son. Our relationship was magnificent. I can’t get a grip on the good memories. I am constantly thrown into a grand mal seizure or

Continue reading



Ambiguous Losses: a brother’s cancer diagnosis

Editor’s note: we thought this relevant to the time we are living in when many are struggling with the prospect of a loved one dying. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Five years ago my younger brother, Eric, was diagnosed with cancer, though he was only 15 at the time.  Our life as a family seemed to change

Continue reading



Now cut off from the world…Complicated Grief

Editor’s note: we thought this was relevant in a time when many who are grieving are cut off from normal social interaction and rituals of grief. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a director of a bereavement center myself, I am very concerned about a friend. Her mother died about 4 years ago. Her father died about

Continue reading



Complicated Grief: A therapist asks about the loss of a daughter

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have been working intermittently for many years with a woman named Pam who was divorced when her adult children were adolescents, as a result of the father’s unpredictable and violent behavior and alcoholism. Likewise, two of her four children have had long histories of drug and alcohol use, despite her funding

Continue reading



On the Pandemic: Ask Dr. Neimeyer 4.20.20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am sure that I am not alone in saying that the COVID-19 crisis has rocked my world, and I really don’t know which way to turn.  Of course, like everyone else I am following the advice of medical authorities regarding hand washing, social distancing, curtailing unnecessary travel, and the rest.  But

Continue reading





Holiday Grieving

Editor’s Note: many approaching the holidays of Easter and Passover with a loss recently behind them, and their grief overlaid with the despair of these times of pandemic. We thought this Dr. Neimeyer column might be helpful–LL Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so now begins my second year without

Continue reading



Tragic Death of a Loved One–finding meaning – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have read and heard you speak about the need to revisit and retell the story of the tragic death of a loved one in order to find meaning in the event.  What stands out in your comments is obvious, but should be underlined, in my view:   the profound Truth about the need

Continue reading



The Pandemic and Grieving and the Events in Paris 2015

Editor: On November 13, 2015 the world was shocked by a series of terrorist attacks in Paris. We felt that Dr. Neimeyer’s words in response to that were relevant to what all Americans, in fact the entire world, is experiencing right now.  Be safe. Be Healthy LB & LL Dear Dr. Niemeyer, I feel I

Continue reading



Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt

Continue reading