My teenage son was electrocuted… Dear Dr. Neimeyer,

My teenage son was electrocuted at home accidentally almost 20 years ago.  My counselor is not happy with my saying he was killed.  I know the difference because about three decades ago, another toddler son  died from a cerebral aneurysm , so in my eyes one died and one was killed and to me there

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Daughter Murdered by the Father of Her Children

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter was murdered by the father of her children. Her children at the time were a toddler and an infant. It’s now seven years later. My daughter was just 21 years old. I had to get my granddaughter’s things out of the apartment she was murdered in, so it was very

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Loss of Financial Security During Troubled Times

Editor’s Note: Loss of Financial Security is a repost we thought would be very relevant in these troubled times. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband died two years ago. I also lost my home of more than a quarter century. and had to file for bankruptcy due to his passing. I have no idea how to get over

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Antidepressants and Complicated Grief…any other way?

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Is the best and probably only way to get through complicated grief through the use of antidepressants? Thanks. Demi   Dear Demi, Both clinical experience and clinical research suggest that antidepressant medication is a mixed blessing in the context of bereavement, for several reasons. In fact, for many years psychiatrists agreed that

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My husband’s daughter accused him of molesting her

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly over two years ago. I am in a lot of emotional pain, but that’s not why I am writing. Three decades ago my husband’s daughter accused him of molesting her; this recollection had come to her, she said, during a course of psychotherapy. He said

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Mom has turned bedroom into a shrine to my departed father… – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is regarding my mother.   We lost my father very unexpectedly this past summer, and she is having a very hard time with his loss, as we all are.  My question is this: Is it good for her to have her bedroom looking like a shrine to him, so that whenever

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Mother died in car accident while son was driving

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Thirteen years ago I experienced a seizure while driving.  My mother was killed in the accident.  I had an extremely close relationship with my mother.  I continue to feel guilty and struggle to make sense of this tragedy. Phil Dear Phil, Your tragic story, summarized vividly in so few words, conveys the catastrophic

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Advice for a daughter who lost her husband: 7/27/20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 23 year old daughter lost her husband two years ago. He was a soldier and her high school sweetheart. He was killed in a car accident on a military base. She is so lost and devastated. She feels like she has lost her identity and has questioned everything in life now.

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Spouses grieving loss of a daughter differently

Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter passed away four years ago. My husband and I grieve so differently. I find it difficult to feel supported by him because I have always needed to talk about my grief while he rarely talks about his. When I cry, he doesn’t know what to say and doesn’t really offer the

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