Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have a friend who recently had a tragic loss, but I find myself uncertain about what to say to her. I don’t want to intrude. What is the best thing to say to someone who is bereaved? Laurie Dear Laurie, In Buddhism, the Noble Eightfold Path describes the attitudes and behaviors
After a Long Battle with Cancer
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My only sister died three years ago after a long battle with cancer during which I was a primary caregiver. She was like a second mother to me since she was sixteen years older than me, and I cannot say what a profound affect her loss has had on my life. Since
My Youngest Son’s Death
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As I am approaching the second anniversary of my youngest son’s death, I feel as if I will never know exactly who I am for the rest of my life. There are good days and bad days, and today is a bad one. It just cannot ever make sense to me–maybe someday,
A Son’s Death: does time heal sorrow?
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 27 year old son died almost two years ago. The first year was hard but I mostly felt in a fog. Now it seems that fog is lifting, but this second year is proving to be a lot worse than the first. I am remembering more about the death and funeral
Death of a Teenage Daughter
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My teenage daughter Daniella died in a car accident almost two years ago, and even though I have been able to go on raising my other two children and working in my office job, I continue to feel a great deal of grief and also some irrational guilt about her death, because
Violent Death of a Son
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My son was stabbed this Spring and lost his life two days later, and they let the guy walk free. I continue fighting for justice for my son but I am so lost without him. I feel I am literally going crazy. I can’t sleep, I don’t eat properly, and I have
I Lost My Husband…
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my dearest husband 3 months ago after years of battling cancer. Our attachment deepened even more when he was diagnosed seven years ago; since then we got to be with each other 24/7. This perhaps is the reason why until now I can’t seem to move on. It’s as if
Loss of a Child — Guest Column
Editor’s Note: This week we are printing a response to last week’s “Loss of a Child — Choosing to Forgive,” Dr. Neimeyer’s answer to a mother whose child died tragically. The author, Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP has written for AfterTalk several times in the past, and we value her thoughts. Below is the original question
Loss of a Child: Choosing to forgive
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I forgive the person who dumped my first-born son unconscious out of his car and left him to die? I lost my son almost three years ago; someone left him unconscious and he died in an empty parking lot alone. He was an organ donor and saved five different lives.
Making time to grieve
Dr. Neimeyer, While grieving of a dear one is very personal, how would you suggest to stop my friends who keep doing different things to interrupt me during the time that I want to be stay alone? As obvious as it is, I need my time to feel sad, my time to internalize being left