Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was recently in a deadly car accident that took the lives of my two beautiful, funny, and loving baby girls, ages 6 and 8. The accident also resulted in my surviving teenage year old daughter being a paraplegic, and my husband having a TBI, and several fractures in his face, arm, leg
Anticipatory grief, when a loved one is dying
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is about anticipatory grief, the distress that family members can feel when a loved one is receiving end-of-life care. I work in a palliative care unit of a large hospital, and we often have families who are overwhelmed with the reality of the patient’s impending death, to a point that
Does time heal sorrow?
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 27 year old son died almost two years ago. The first year was hard but I mostly felt in a fog. Now it seems that fog is lifting, but this second year is proving to be a lot worse than the first. I am remembering more about the death and funeral
Feeling conflicted about remarrying
Dear Dr Neimeyer, My husband passed away a few years ago when my children were very young. I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful man and remarry. He has embraced ‘our’ children as if they were his own. My problem is that I am very conflicted. I want my children to grow up knowing
Feeling conflicted about remarrying
Dear Dr Neimeyer, My husband passed away a few years ago when my children were very young. I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful man and remarry. He has embraced ‘our’ children as if they were his own. My problem is that I am very conflicted. I want my children to grow up knowing
How do I start grieving?
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, It’s been 11 years since I buried my mom and dad and I’ve never been able to accept or deal with their deaths; and then in February I lost my final grandma, so there’s been some issues with family since, and I have left and never looked back; but I still haven’t
Getting through grief without anti-depressants?
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Is the best and probably only way to get through complicated grief through the use of anti-depressants? Thanks. Demi Dear Demi, Both clinical experience and clinical research suggest that antidepressant medication is a mixed blessing in the context of bereavement, for several reasons. In fact, for many years psychiatrists agreed that
Preparing for the anniversary of a passing
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I handle the one year anniversary of my daughter’s passing, which is coming up next month? She left three babies behind, and I found her in her room with the boys with her. Luckily they were sleeping. But I can’t get that vision out of my head! I cry, I
I lost my husband in an accident over 25 years ago
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my husband in an accident over 25 years ago while we were getting ready for his grandmother’s funeral. There were so many unanswered questions, as our daughter was only a year old and she is now nearing 30. But my question is why I still have my moments of tears and
Grieving for a Husband/ a Daughter’s Wedding
Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband Burt died two years ago, and for the most part my family and I are doing fine. The first year was very hard, but it was made easier by a lovely memorial service we had for him on a beach where he used to sail, when we had a family