Recent Stories

Regret at the Death of a Friend

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 15, 2021 | 0 Comments

Hi Dr. Neimeyer, Please help, as I am not sure what to do. Several years ago I terminated a friendship. Our last contact was ugly, and her husband witnessed my reprehensible behavior. Efforts to clean things up didn’t go well, and I now take full responsibility. While I got some therapy to explore why I acted badly …

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Dealing with his Brother’s Death

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 8, 2021 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I think my adult son is “medicating” himself with alcohol to try to deal with his brother’s death two years ago. He’s an adult and no one can make him go to his doctor or a counselor. He has a good job that I fear he could jeopardize. I know that there …

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Coping with multiple losses

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | March 1, 2021 | 0 Comments

Editor’s Note–We thought this was highly relevant during the pandemic. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why is it so hard? I lost my sister in the Spring, then my husband a month later, then my son two months later. It’s been a losing battle I just don’t know how to handle this. Phyllis Dear Phyllis– When a …

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Three suggestions for dealing with insensitive consolations

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 22, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband, Joseph, has been gone less than a year, and I can’t believe the stupid things people say to me, trying to make me “feel better.”  “Time heals all wounds–you just need to stay busy,” “You’ve got to look on the bright side; at least you had him all these years,” …

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Fearing the loss of a child

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 15, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Firstly, thank you for providing your expertise online. It has helped me since losing one of my twin sons in his late 20s in a motorcycle accident not long ago. This time has been filled with not only grief for the loss of my very close son, but also worry for his twin brother  who witnessed …

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Why do I feel guilty?

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 8, 2021 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why do I feel guilty when I laugh or have fun, knowing my daughter isn’t here, and I shouldn’t be having fun? Dolores Dear Dolores– There is an unwritten code in our culture–one that is an explicit prescription in many world cultures–that presumes that we honor the dead when we wear our …

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Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 1, 2021 | 2 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt …

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Visits from deceased loved ones

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 25, 2021 | 2 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do you get love ones that passed away to come visit you more often? Taylor Dear Taylor— One interesting response to your question might be to consider the analogy to another context that is more familiar: How do we get living loved ones to visit us more often? Surely one response …

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Grieving for Our Nation

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 18, 2021 | 0 Comments

Editor: On November 13, 2015 the world was shocked by a series of terrorist attacks in Paris. We felt that Dr. Neimeyer’s words in response to that were relevant to what all Americans, in fact the entire world, is experiencing right now after the terrorist assault on our Capitol.  Be safe. Be Healthy LB & …

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Finding Meaning: an Ask Dr. Neimeyer Guest Post

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 11, 2021 | 1 Comment

A new comment on the post “After sudden death of a husband; finding meaning in life” touched us, and we decided to share it as a guest post for this week’s Ask Dr. Neimeyer. Here is the link to the relevant post: CLICK HERE   Well, I am amazed at the similarities in the stories, …

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