Category Archives: Death of a Parent

Healing Transitions for Parents

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a counselor with a good deal of experience in working with grief,  I have been hired to present at a senior retirement community in my city.  The audience will be potential patrons who are looking to move their widowed parents from their homes into a facility.  The topic of the presentation

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Unfinished Business: Adult Children and Parents

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a clinical psychologist.  I work with many adults who have very difficult relationships with their parents.  Some say they anticipate they will feel relief when their parents die.  Then they feel guilty for feeling that way.  Do you have any advice/thought for people whose grief or anticipated grief is complicated in this way?

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My husband passed away…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away in five years ago. It was right before our oldest son graduated from high school and our youngest son was eight. My oldest son graduated  with a degree in electrical engineering last year. My oldest son, I believe bottled up everything; he won’t even talk to me or his

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Alzheimer’s Loss: fixating on the present

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am providing emotional support to the family of an advanced Alzheimer’s patient who has been institutionalized for 5 years. The patient was a brilliant scientist, greatly loved and admired by his sister and three daughters. As the scientist approaches death, his sister and daughters are troubled by the fact that their thoughts

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Lost my Husband and my Dad…

Dear Dr, Neimeyer, It’s been around two years now since I lost my husband and my dad a few weeks apart. The grief is still so debilitating I can hardly get up in the morning. I see a therapist but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping very much. I attempted to take my life earlier

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Lost my father, unable to talk about it

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I had a significant bereavement over two years ago when I lost my father to cancer and Alzheimers, and am still unable to talk about it or face it in any way. I have emotionaly disconnected from my grief. It overwhelms me at times but this is so unbearable that I shift

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Mother died in car accident while son was driving

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Thirteen years ago I experienced a seizure while driving.  My mother was killed in the accident.  I had an extremely close relationship with my mother.  I continue to feel guilty and struggle to make sense of this tragedy. Phil Dear Phil, Your tragic story, summarized vividly in so few words, conveys the catastrophic

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Blaming Myself for My Mother’s Death

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I stop blaming myself for my mother’s death?  She was 85 and 18 hours away from heart valve replacement, doing well, ready for it.  She was told to walk some before surgery, and her last walk was fatal.  I think I could have stopped her from overdoing it, but I

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