Author Archives: Dr. Robert Neimeyer

Mom has turned bedroom into a shrine to my departed father… – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is regarding my mother.   We lost my father very unexpectedly this past summer, and she is having a very hard time with his loss, as we all are.  My question is this: Is it good for her to have her bedroom looking like a shrine to him, so that whenever

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Mother died in car accident while son was driving

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Thirteen years ago I experienced a seizure while driving.  My mother was killed in the accident.  I had an extremely close relationship with my mother.  I continue to feel guilty and struggle to make sense of this tragedy. Phil Dear Phil, Your tragic story, summarized vividly in so few words, conveys the catastrophic

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Advice for a daughter who lost her husband: 7/27/20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 23 year old daughter lost her husband two years ago. He was a soldier and her high school sweetheart. He was killed in a car accident on a military base. She is so lost and devastated. She feels like she has lost her identity and has questioned everything in life now.

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Spouses grieving loss of a daughter differently

Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter passed away four years ago. My husband and I grieve so differently. I find it difficult to feel supported by him because I have always needed to talk about my grief while he rarely talks about his. When I cry, he doesn’t know what to say and doesn’t really offer the

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Preparing for the anniversary of my daughter’s passing

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I handle the one year anniversary of my daughter’s passing, which is coming up next month? She left three babies behind, and I found her in her room with the boys with her. Luckily they were sleeping. But I can’t get that vision out of my head! I cry, I

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My Daughter Took Her Own Life – Gay Pride Month

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My only child, my 16 year old daughter, took her own life just one month ago.  She showed no signs at all.  Straight A student, worked as cashier part time, saving money for college.  She just finished her College Boards and got an amazing score.  I know this wasn’t planned–she had placed orders

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I found my dad’s body on Father’s Day

Dear. Dr. Neimeyer, Do you think that because I  found my dad’s body a few hours after a normal visit that could be a reason I’m having such a difficult time now with his death? Today is five months and I can’t stop crying. I lost my dad on Father’s Day and it was so unexpected.

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Unpredictability of Grief: a Letter to Sofia

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a writer for my high school’s award-winning newspaper and I’m writing an article about the unpredictability of grief. I would love if you could answer some of my questions regarding the subject, because a lot of the students at are school have lost people recently. Here are my questions   Sofia

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