Author Archives: Dr. Robert Neimeyer

A Veteran and a partner’s suicide

Editor’s note: we are reprinting this post in honor of all who have served their country, veterans and currently serving. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My partner committed suicide in front of me last February. He asked me to hold his hand. I always promised I’d be there for him, regardless. But this was something I couldn’t

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My son died…holding on to good memories

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 26 year old son died 7 years ago after a prolonged battle with a malignant brain tumor. I was his caretaker. He was my first child and my only son. Our relationship was magnificent. I can’t get a grip on the good memories. I am constantly thrown into a grand mal seizure or

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Ambiguous Losses: a brother’s cancer diagnosis

Editor’s note: we thought this relevant to the time we are living in when many are struggling with the prospect of a loved one dying. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Five years ago my younger brother, Eric, was diagnosed with cancer, though he was only 15 at the time.  Our life as a family seemed to change

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Now cut off from the world…Complicated Grief

Editor’s note: we thought this was relevant in a time when many who are grieving are cut off from normal social interaction and rituals of grief. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a director of a bereavement center myself, I am very concerned about a friend. Her mother died about 4 years ago. Her father died about

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Complicated Grief: A therapist asks about the loss of a daughter

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have been working intermittently for many years with a woman named Pam who was divorced when her adult children were adolescents, as a result of the father’s unpredictable and violent behavior and alcoholism. Likewise, two of her four children have had long histories of drug and alcohol use, despite her funding

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On the Pandemic: Ask Dr. Neimeyer 4.20.20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am sure that I am not alone in saying that the COVID-19 crisis has rocked my world, and I really don’t know which way to turn.  Of course, like everyone else I am following the advice of medical authorities regarding hand washing, social distancing, curtailing unnecessary travel, and the rest.  But

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Holiday Grieving

Editor’s Note: many approaching the holidays of Easter and Passover with a loss recently behind them, and their grief overlaid with the despair of these times of pandemic. We thought this Dr. Neimeyer column might be helpful–LL Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so now begins my second year without

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Tragic Death of a Loved One–finding meaning – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have read and heard you speak about the need to revisit and retell the story of the tragic death of a loved one in order to find meaning in the event.  What stands out in your comments is obvious, but should be underlined, in my view:   the profound Truth about the need

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