Loss of a husband

I am losing the final piece of him

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away nearly a dozen years ago and I have been receiving his Social Security Benefits since that time. On my birthday next Spring I will be taking my own Social Security.  My question is:  Why do I feel so apprehensive about taking mine and giving up my husband’s?  This is the …

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Three suggestions for dealing with insensitive consolations

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband, Joseph, has been gone less than a year, and I can’t believe the stupid things people say to me, trying to make me “feel better.”  “Time heals all wounds–you just need to stay busy,” “You’ve got to look on the bright side; at least you had him all these years,” …

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After sudden death of a husband; finding meaning in life

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Six months ago my partner of 47 years died suddenly. We have no children and have always been very close and spent a lot of time together. This would have been our first real year of retirement together and we were looking forward to growing old together, just enjoying our free time and everyday things.  Now he’s gone I can …

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Loss of Financial Security During Troubled Times

Editor’s Note: Loss of Financial Security is a repost we thought would be very relevant in these troubled times. Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband died two years ago. I also lost my home of more than a quarter century. and had to file for bankruptcy due to his passing. I have no idea how to get over …

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Mom has turned bedroom into a shrine to my departed father… – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is regarding my mother.   We lost my father very unexpectedly this past summer, and she is having a very hard time with his loss, as we all are.  My question is this: Is it good for her to have her bedroom looking like a shrine to him, so that whenever …

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Advice for a daughter who lost her husband: 7/27/20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 23 year old daughter lost her husband two years ago. He was a soldier and her high school sweetheart. He was killed in a car accident on a military base. She is so lost and devastated. She feels like she has lost her identity and has questioned everything in life now. …

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Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt …

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A Widow’s Complicated Grief Rituals…Dear Dr. Neimeyer:

     I am a therapist who is seeing a woman who lives alone and without children, for complicated grief, and one of the people for whom she is grieving is her husband.  They were married 4 years before he died 19 years ago,  Every year on their anniversary, she has a very complicated ritual …

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Five Principles for Managing Grief in the New Year

Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have gotten better across the months in that department, and actually feel pretty good …

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