I am in the same situation Tina, my hubby, soul mate, best friend, rock and my everything passes away just recently in a mountaineering accident. I literally feel like I am dead on the inside. I am nothing without him. I don’t want to live anymore if I can’t live with him. I have grown up children and lots of friends and support but it’s all not enough. I can’t see anyway forward. I pray I die too every minute of every day. I can’t live without him! I don’t see anyway. So sorry this is happening to you too. We had been together 14 years nearly and married over 10. How can we go on without them?
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My husband died just a month ago and I feel so much of what everyone here is feeling. Unlike so many I have had 2 years of grieving him while he was still alive since he had Lewy body dementia with Parkinsonism. Every day I felt I lost him a little more. The confusion and terror from the LBD were so great and it hurt so bad to see him in that state. I was his caregiver for that time and the last 6 months were the worst. My daughters always said if I went first they felt he would have a hard time emotionally. I prayed to see this positively. I would have gladly taken it from him if I could. God showed me that I am taking this intense sorrow from him. When I remember that it helps. I would not have wanted him to go through this. Praying for everyone. We will make it through.
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Ellen, I am crying as I write this. I wonder how you are today in 2024. My soulmate passed less than two weeks ago. We were together for 4 years. He was my best friend, my comfort blanket. We really were so connected and so in love. I used to say to him that I miss him even though he’d be sitting right at the side of me with his arm around me. Nothing prepares you for the indescribable pain in your heart when a loved one passes. I so badly want to feel his arms around me; to hear his soft voice; to reach out and hold his hand, look him in the eyes and tell him I love him so very much.
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Right now everything feels pointless, life has no purpose. I don’t want to wake up another day and remember that he’s not with me; that I’ll never get to call him on impulse to tell him I love him. People say it’ll get easier but right now it doesn’t seem possible. I just love and miss him so much.
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My husband of 37 years died of covid on May 13 2024. The mornings are the worst. I cry every day. He was my best friend , the only person who will ever love me that much and I miss him so much it is almost unbearable. My eldest son lives with me and my younger son lives with his family close by. I am very thankful for them, but it is still so painful and I feel so alone even when I am with them because a huge part of me is missing. Sometimes I feel like I do not want to be here anymore. He left some debts and I must try to correct that situation so I am forced to try to be strong for them.
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I understand. My husband died in April. I am destroyed. My life is literally nothing without him. There is no joy anymore. I do hope I see him again. The house is no longer a home. I’m tired of people telling me that I’ll get over it in time. That will never happen.
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