Death of a Parent

Alzheimer’s Loss: fixating on the present

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am providing emotional support to the family of an advanced Alzheimer’s patient who has been institutionalized for 5 years. The patient was a brilliant scientist, greatly loved and admired by his sister and three daughters. As the scientist approaches death, his sister and daughters are troubled by the fact that their thoughts […]

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Fear of Forgetting: a Therapist’s question

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am a social worker and therapist , and I attended one of your workshops a couple years ago.  I have a question for you related to a client I am currently treating.  This client is a man in his mid 20s and his father died when my client was in his mid-teens. 

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Lost my Husband and my Dad…

Dear Dr, Neimeyer, It’s been around two years now since I lost my husband and my dad a few weeks apart. The grief is still so debilitating I can hardly get up in the morning. I see a therapist but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping very much. I attempted to take my life earlier

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Lost my father, unable to talk about it

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I had a significant bereavement over two years ago when I lost my father to cancer and Alzheimers, and am still unable to talk about it or face it in any way. I have emotionaly disconnected from my grief. It overwhelms me at times but this is so unbearable that I shift

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Mother died in car accident while son was driving

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Thirteen years ago I experienced a seizure while driving.  My mother was killed in the accident.  I had an extremely close relationship with my mother.  I continue to feel guilty and struggle to make sense of this tragedy. Phil Dear Phil, Your tragic story, summarized vividly in so few words, conveys the catastrophic

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Blaming Myself for My Mother’s Death

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I stop blaming myself for my mother’s death?  She was 85 and 18 hours away from heart valve replacement, doing well, ready for it.  She was told to walk some before surgery, and her last walk was fatal.  I think I could have stopped her from overdoing it, but I

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Both Parents Died…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, What are the effects from parents who have passed away? Mine both had cancers and they both passed away a year and a half apart. It has caused me a lot of grieving, crying, a lot loss of memory, forgetfulness, anger and not wanting too move on.  It’s been very hard for

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Waiting to grieve her death…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My mother died over six years ago and I’m still waiting to grieve her death and not feel numb towards her passing.  Both my father and I cared for her for a long time.  I lived several hours away from my parents but the doctors would call me all hours of the

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A Father’s Death: Struggling with the “what ifs?”

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My father had schizophrenia and I am so proud of how he managed his illness. He will continue to be an inspiration to me and I do direct my son, who struggles with mental illness, to grandpa’s example. My father found that walking cleared his thoughts and decreased the symptoms of depression.

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Deadly car accident takes two daughters

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was recently in a deadly car accident that took the lives of my two beautiful, funny, and loving baby girls, ages 6 and 8. The accident also resulted in my surviving teenage year old daughter being a paraplegic, and my husband having a TBI, and several fractures in his face, arm, leg

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