Dear Dr. Neimeyer,
I’ve been watching and reading about the horrible flooding in Valencia, Spain,
as a result of record rainfall in that region, and my heart breaks to witness the
death toll that is quickly climbing into the hundreds, along with the unbelievable
scenes of destruction of whole towns and neighborhoods. Many of us in the
U.S. are still picking up the pieces and wondering about the future after the
horrendous hurricanes that also tore our lives apart. What can you tell us
psychologically that can help us in the present or future when we encounter
these sorts of natural disasters, wherever they erupt in the world?
–Olga H., Tampa, Florida
Dear Olga,
As the recent and ongoing devastation from storm-driven flooding in both the
U.S. and Spain remind us, processing loss and grief after natural disasters is
deeply personal. In these cases, unlike many other types of loss, there is an
added element of trauma at multiple levels, as the death of family members,
friends or neighbors is accompanied by many other losses (of homes,
belongings, workplace, living conditions, safety, healthcare…). Most people are
expected to recover in practical terms over time, reaching a “new normal” as the
world experienced after the pandemic and lockdown. However, given the
magnitude of the recent flooding and its after-effects, some things will never be
the same—our cherished possessions may be swept away; the trees in the
neighborhood park have been leveled by the rush of water and debris; historic
buildings that are structurally damaged will be replaced with contemporary
ones. More subtly but equally substantially, our core beliefs that the world is
safe, that life is just, that we have some measure of control over what happens
to us, and perhaps even our trust in authorities, in God or in the universe may
be swept away with our physical belongings, leaving us in a landscape made
alien by the disaster. Such psychological effects of trauma may linger for years.
What can be done to adapt to such catastrophic change? Here are some
strategies that my friend and colleague Dr. Luis Botella in Barcelona and I
might offer, which we hope can help on this difficult journey, after the initial days
or weeks of dealing with the immediate shock of the loss and recovery of
essential living conditions:
– Acknowledge and validate your emotions: It is normal to experience a wide
range of feelings, such as sadness, anger, confusion, helplessness or
numbness. All are expressions of grief, over the loss of people, places,
possessions and possibilities that once gave familiar meaning to life. Accepting
and understanding that these emotions are natural responses to loss is the first
crucial step toward rebuilding.
– Connect with community resources: Many countries and communities offer
financial, medical and social services for disaster survivors, including
counseling and assistance programs. Accessing these resources can provide
additional support.
– Reach out: Connect with friends, family, or support groups that can offer
listening and emotional support. Whether meeting face to face or in social
media, seek the companionship of others who have “been there,” who
understand what you and your family are going through, and who can offer
constructive advice about how best to cope. Sharing your experiences can
alleviate feelings of isolation and foster a sense of community.
– Participate in meaningful rituals: Engage in personal, communal or cultural
rituals that honor the loss according to your values and beliefs, such as
funerals, memorials, or creating some type of tribute or legacy. These practices
can provide a sense of meaning, transition and respect for your loss, and
reaffirm your connection to a broader community of concern.
– Maintain a routine: In the face of random events and chaos, seek a new
sense of order and normalcy, for both you and your family. Prepare and eat
meals together. Restore normal hours of awakening, work, school and sleep as
soon as possible. Gradually re-establish daily routines to provide a sense of
new stability, helping you and those you love to stay centered during turbulent
times.
– Express yourself creatively: When losses go beyond what literal language
can capture, people often turn to art to express the inexpressible: consider
Picasso’s Guernica. Use outlets like creative writing, art, or music to process
emotions that may be difficult to express verbally.
– Limit media exposure: Continuous exposure to disaster-related news can
magnify stress and anxiety. Beyond listening to or reading important
announcements, setting boundaries on media access can help manage
emotional well-being.
– Practice self-care: Prioritize physical health through adequate rest, balanced
nutrition, and exercise—even if it involves the physical work of cleanup and
repair. Gradually, working together, the world can be rebuilt. Engaging in
activities that bring calm and relaxation can also support emotional recovery.
-Offer care to others: Beyond tending to our own very real needs, consider
what you might offer others, especially those more vulnerable than yourself—a
frightened or sad child, a grieving neighbor, an isolated older person. Such
simple acts of kindness as lending a hand with cleanup, preparing a special
meal or visiting over a cup of coffee can go some distance toward rebuilding
bonds, enhancing security, and reminding ourselves that we still have a
measure of control in deciding how to respond to tragic circumstances we did
not choose.
–Live up to your values: Crisis can also mobilize conscious action. Did this
disaster reveal crucial vulnerabilities in the engineering of water management
systems that require major government investment? Could this disaster be a
“wake up” call for political action to seriously address climate change at national
and international levels? Voicing your concerns and advocacy now and in
future elections can be a constructive contribution to a more livable future, not
only for us, but also for our children and our children’s children.
– Seek professional help: If feelings of grief become overwhelming or persist,
consider consulting a mental health professional experienced in trauma, loss,
and grief. They can offer personalized strategies to help you cope with your
losses and find an adaptive way forward.
– Be patient with yourself: Grief is a non-linear process that varies for each
individual. Allow yourself the time and space needed to heal without imposing
strict deadlines or expectations. Just as the physical impact of the floods on
communities will take time to repair, so too will their effects on those who have
to live in the midst of these ongoing stressors.
Remember, rebuilding life after a loss due to natural disasters is a gradual
process. Using these strategies can help you navigate the path to recovery and
find meaning after such profound and perturbing events.
Luis Botella, PhD, Ramon Llull University, Barcelona
Robert A. Neimeyer, PhD, Portland Institute for Loss and Transition
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