loss of a husband

Mom has turned bedroom into a shrine to my departed father… – copy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is regarding my mother.   We lost my father very unexpectedly this past summer, and she is having a very hard time with his loss, as we all are.  My question is this: Is it good for her to have her bedroom looking like a shrine to him, so that whenever …

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Advice for a daughter who lost her husband: 7/27/20

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My 23 year old daughter lost her husband two years ago. He was a soldier and her high school sweetheart. He was killed in a car accident on a military base. She is so lost and devastated. She feels like she has lost her identity and has questioned everything in life now. …

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Complicated and consuming grief of a friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer I have read and appreciate your work about meaning reconstruction in loss. I have a friend whose grief is so complicated and consuming that she can’t find life for herself (her husband died from cancer about six years ago) and she can’t seem to move forward at all. Here is an excerpt …

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Anticipatory Grieving: mourning the living

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Your recent reply to the woman widowed over 25 years ago resonated with me, even though my husband is still alive.  I am a member of the Well Spouse Association, a national nonprofit organization which provides peer support to those caring for chronically ill or disabled spouses. “Chronic sorrow”…”bleaching out of emotions”…”surviving but not thriving”… “sense of not fitting …

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A Widow’s Complicated Grief Rituals…Dear Dr. Neimeyer:

     I am a therapist who is seeing a woman who lives alone and without children, for complicated grief, and one of the people for whom she is grieving is her husband.  They were married 4 years before he died 19 years ago,  Every year on their anniversary, she has a very complicated ritual …

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Five Principles for Managing Grief in the New Year

Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have gotten better across the months in that department, and actually feel pretty good …

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Husband’s Suicide: How do I move on?

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband of over 30 years killed himself over two years ago. I went through survival mode the first year, and now have my life “working” in a sense, but still ruminate too much about “why,” and what I could have done to change it. I want peace, to accept that this …

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Lost my husband to lung cancer

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I recently lost my husband to lung cancer. The chemotherapy was not working and they were debating whether another form of treatment would work. He then got an infection and was admitted to hospital. He never left the hospital as he got sepsis.  I feel responsible as I was his caregiver 24/7 …

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