loss of a child

Anticipatory Grief and a troubled son

Dear Dr Neimeyer, I am in a state of parental distress,  anticipatory grief, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m 68 and my eldest son (whom I’ll call “Tom”—not his real name) is now 38.  The bottom line is this:  Tom has a drug habit that is killing him, and I am experiencing anticipatory […]

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My Daughter was murdered…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter was murdered a year ago. She was upset with me before it happened. I saw her the morning it happened, and we only waved at each other. Later, I saw her body lying on the floor in her house and I can’t get that image out of my head. I

My Daughter was murdered… Read More »

My Daughter was murdered…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter was murdered a year ago. She was upset with me before it happened. I saw her the morning it happened, and we only waved at each other. Later, I saw her body lying on the floor in her house and I can’t get that image out of my head. I

My Daughter was murdered… Read More »

My Daughter was murdered…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter was murdered a year ago. She was upset with me before it happened. I saw her the morning it happened, and we only waved at each other. Later, I saw her body lying on the floor in her house and I can’t get that image out of my head. I

My Daughter was murdered… Read More »

Why do I feel guilty?

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why do I feel guilty when I laugh or have fun, knowing my daughter isn’t here, and I shouldn’t be having fun? Dolores Dear Dolores– There is an unwritten code in our culture–one that is an explicit prescription in many world cultures–that presumes that we honor the dead when we wear our

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Do I have PTSD?

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have a question please. I lost my sixteen year old son in an accident only fifteen months ago. I can hardly walk through this house of memories, so I stay isolated in one room. I do not want to be bothered. My mom lives here and has taken over for a

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Preparing for the anniversary of a daughter’s passing

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I handle the one year anniversary of my daughter’s passing, which is coming up next month? She left 3 babies behind, and I found her in her room with the boys with her. Luckily they were sleeping. But I can’t get that vision out of my head! I cry, I

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Suicide of a Son: A Mother’s Question

Editor: Last week was National Suicide Prevention Week, hence this post: Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my son to suicide, and I am struggling with the urge to join him. I try to stay here for my beautiful granddaughter that he left for me to enjoy. There are days that it is almost like living

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Deadly car accident takes two daughters

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was recently in a deadly car accident that took the lives of my two beautiful, funny, and loving baby girls, ages 6 and 8. The accident also resulted in my surviving teenage year old daughter being a paraplegic, and my husband having a TBI, and several fractures in his face, arm, leg

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My Youngest Son’s Death

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As I am approaching the second anniversary of my youngest son’s death, I feel as if I will never know exactly who I am for the rest of my life.  There are good days and bad days, and today is a bad one.  It just cannot ever make sense to me–maybe someday,

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