Death of a Child

My Daughter Took Her Own Life x

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My only child, my 16 year old daughter, took her own life just one month ago.  She showed no signs at all.  Straight A student, worked as cashier part time, saving money for college.  She just finished her College Boards and got an amazing score.  I know this wasn’t planned–she had placed orders […]

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Anticipatory Grief: my daughter’s fate

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, If you have been experiencing anticipatory grief for a loved one, once they die do you still experience normal grief? Or is it all combined within the anticipatory? I have a daughter who is a medical guinea pig, and as far as we can tell she is the oldest surviving person in

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Over my Son’s Death?

Dr. Neimeyer, I stay so angry at people that expect me to be over my son’s death eight years ago. What can I say to them? They act like I have failed or just want attention. I hurt terribly. Bette Dear Bette– No doubt it is hard, if not impossible, for someone who has not

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Coping with the autopsy

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My son John, died just 14 months ago at 31 years of age. The Coroner’s findings were that he died from Mixed Drug Toxicity, Drug Induced Cardiomyopathy and Chronic on Acute Pancreatitis. John was also Hep C+ve. His father died from a long and complicated course of illness that extended through John’s

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Lost a Small Child

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a therapist in general practice who was just referred a couple who had lost a small child.  The mother called to make the appointment and emphasized that her husband was willing to accompany her, but she also said they seemed to be “on different pages” in dealing with their loss.  We

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Why is it so hard? Coping with multiple losses.

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Why is it so hard? I lost my sister in the spring, then my husband a month later, then my son two months later. It’s been a losing battle I just don’t know how to handle this. Paulina Dear Paulina, When a person has a litany of losses in such close succession

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Spouses grieving differently

Dr. Neimeyer My daughter passed away four years ago. My husband and I grieve so differently. I find it difficult to feel supported by him because I have always needed to talk about my grief while he rarely talks about his. When I cry, he doesn’t know what to say and doesn’t really offer the

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My teenage son was electrocuted…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My teenage son was electrocuted at home accidentally almost 20 years ago.  My counselor is not happy with my saying he was killed.  I know the difference because about three decades ago, another toddler son  died from a cerebral aneurysm , so in my eyes one died and one was killed and to me

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…my friend’s 16 year old daughter committed suicide…x

Dr. Neimeyer, Last week, my friend’s 16 year old daughter committed suicide. As far as what is known, there is nothing that indicates the “why”. As I read through your materials, I have learned that we try to bring an understanding to the un-understandable and it eats at us. He and his ex-wife divorced a

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Deadly car accident takes two daughters

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was recently in a deadly car accident that took the lives of my two beautiful, funny, and loving baby girls, ages 6 and 8. The accident also resulted in my surviving teenage year old daughter being a paraplegic, and my husband having a TBI, and several fractures in his face, arm, leg

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