Recent Stories

How do I forgive?

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | February 5, 2018 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do I forgive the person who dumped my first-born son unconscious out of his car and left him to die? I lost my son almost three years ago; someone left him unconscious and he died in an empty parking lot alone. He was an organ donor and saved five different lives. […]

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Lost my father, unable to talk about it

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 29, 2018 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I had a significant bereavement over two years ago when I lost my father to cancer and Alzheimers, and am still unable to talk about it or face it in any way. I have emotionaly disconnected from my grief. It overwhelms me at times but this is so unbearable that I shift […]

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Traumatic images of their loved one’s dying

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 22, 2018 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a therapist I often work with people who suffer from traumatic images of their loved one’s dying, even when these result from a difficult death in the hospital. Can you comment on how to help the bereaved who are struggling with difficult images and memories? How does one work through traumatic […]

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For therapists: explaining a parent’s death to children

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 8, 2018 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am working with a client whose husband died suddenly eleven days after the birth of their first child. That son is now just turning three and is asking incessantly, “where is my father?” The mother, nanny, etc., honor the question and respond that his father is in heaven. He is aware […]

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Traumatic Loss Group Therapy

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | January 2, 2018 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My colleagues and I are currently recruiting clients for a traumatic loss group in our clinic, one that draws on your approach to grief therapy as meaning reconstruction, which has strong relevance when losses are sudden and often violent.  The group is designed to run 12 weeks, and is closed, meaning that […]

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Grieving for a Husband/Father During Holiday Season

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | December 23, 2017 | 1 Comment

Grieving for a Husband/Father During the Holidays Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband Don died 9 months ago after a rapid decline; and his lungs basically stopped working, even with oxygen treatments.  His death has been hard for us as a family in many ways, as he lived only about 6 months after getting the diagnosis, and […]

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Grieving and the Holiday Season

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | December 18, 2017 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have gotten better across the months in that department, and actually feel pretty good […]

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Widower in search of…x

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | December 11, 2017 | 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am a widower (although I don’t like this moniker) after more than 30 years of marriage. I don’t understand why “widowers” are not in the highest demand. We have proven our capacity for commitment, as well as have tons of experience in child rearing, relationships, and the refinement of how to […]

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“My daughter killed a young man…”

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | December 4, 2017 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My daughter killed a young man when her car ran into his motorcycle. It was determined that the accident was not her fault. Nevertheless, she was so bereaved that we had to take her to a Critical Care facility. How does someone grieve for someone they don’t know? How does someone recover […]

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Lost a Small Child

By Dr. Robert Neimeyer | November 27, 2017 | 0 Comments

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a therapist in general practice who was just referred a couple who had lost a small child.  The mother called to make the appointment and emphasized that her husband was willing to accompany her, but she also said they seemed to be “on different pages” in dealing with their loss.  We […]

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