Talking to the Bereaved

What to say to a grieving friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have a friend who recently had a tragic loss, but I find myself uncertain about what to say to her. I don’t want to intrude. What is the best thing to say to someone who is bereaved? Laurie Dear Laurie, In Buddhism, the Noble Eightfold Path describes the attitudes and behaviors […]

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Anticipatory grief, when a loved one is dying

Dealing with Anticipatory Grief Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is about anticipatory grief, the distress that family members can feel when a loved one is receiving end-of-life care. I work in a palliative care unit of a large hospital, and we often have families who are overwhelmed with the reality of the patient’s impending death,

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What to say to a grieving friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have a friend who recently had a tragic loss, but I find myself uncertain about what to say to her. I don’t want to intrude. What is the best thing to say to someone who is bereaved? Laurie Dear Laurie, In Buddhism, the Noble Eightfold Path describes the attitudes and behaviors

What to say to a grieving friend Read More »

Anticipatory grief, when a loved one is dying

Dealing with Anticipatory Grief Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is about anticipatory grief, the distress that family members can feel when a loved one is receiving end-of-life care. I work in a palliative care unit of a large hospital, and we often have families who are overwhelmed with the reality of the patient’s impending death,

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Three suggestions for dealing with insensitive consolations

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband has been gone less than a year, and I can’t believe the stupid things people say to me, trying to make me “feel better.”  “Time heals all wounds–you just need to stay busy,” “You’ve got to look on the bright side; at least you had him all these years,” and

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Three suggestions for dealing with insensitive consolations

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband, Joseph, has been gone less than a year, and I can’t believe the stupid things people say to me, trying to make me “feel better.”  “Time heals all wounds–you just need to stay busy,” “You’ve got to look on the bright side; at least you had him all these years,”

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Visits from deceased loved ones

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, How do you get love ones that passed away to come visit you more often? Taylor Dear Taylor— One interesting response to your question might be to consider the analogy to another context that is more familiar: How do we get living loved ones to visit us more often? Surely one response

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Punished by God? : Dear Dr. Neimeyer:

In my practice I have encountered some clients who have experienced a significant loss in the past (e.g., loss of a parent when they were teenagers), which obviously altered their world views. They made sense of their losses by coming to the conclusion that bad things can happen randomly in this world, while at the

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What to say to a grieving friend

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I have a friend who recently had a tragic loss, but I find myself uncertain about what to say to her. I don’t want to intrude. What is the best thing to say to someone who is bereaved? Laurie Dear Laurie, In Buddhism, the Noble Eightfold Path describes the attitudes and behaviors

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Making time to grieve

Dr. Neimeyer, While grieving of a dear one is very personal, how would you suggest to stop my friends who keep doing different things to interrupt me during the time that I want to be stay alone? As obvious as it is, I need my time to feel sad, my time to internalize being left

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