Author Archives: Dr. Robert Neimeyer

A Wife’s Suicide

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My wife took her own life a few months ago, and it has busted me wide open. I’m better than where I was but far from being better. I wrestle with the coulda, shoulda, woulda of survivor guilt and anger. I miss her terribly, and now have somewhat come to terms that this

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Five Principles for Managing Grief in the New Year

EDITOR’S NOTE: WE THOUGHT THIS WAS WORTH REPEATING AS THE NEW YEAR LOOMS Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have

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Anticipatory Grieving and Parents: somatic symptom disorders

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a physician and psychiatrist, and I have a question for you given your decades of work in both the theory and clinical practice around grief/bereavement. I am trained as a pediatrician, and also as an adult + child/adolescent psychiatrist. I now work as a psychiatrist, embedded with the pediatric palliative care

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Five Principles for Managing Grief in the New Year

Dear Dr. Neimeyer– My husband died just over a year ago, so on January 1st I will start my second year without him, and I am not looking forward to it.  It’s not that I am immobilized by grief, as I have gotten better across the months in that department, and actually feel pretty good

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My husband passed away…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband passed away in five years ago. It was right before our oldest son graduated from high school and our youngest son was eight. My oldest son graduated  with a degree in electrical engineering last year. My oldest son, I believe bottled up everything; he won’t even talk to me or his

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Grieving and the Holidays

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My husband Don died 9 months ago after a rapid decline; and his lungs basically stopped working, even with oxygen treatments.  His death has been hard for us as a family in many ways, as he lived only about 6 months after getting the diagnosis, and we are now facing the first Christmas

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Suicide of a Son and Complicated Grief x

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my son Charles a few months ago to suicide. Charles  lost both his babies 4 years ago. Their first baby was a miscarriage and the second was born with a rare cancer and only survived two and a half months but lost his battle and passed on. This broke my son and the 4 years after

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After sudden death of a husband; finding meaning in life

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Six months ago my partner of 47 years died suddenly. We have no children and have always been very close and spent a lot of time together. This would have been our first real year of retirement together and we were looking forward to growing old together, just enjoying our free time and everyday things.  Now he’s gone I can

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Alzheimer’s Loss: fixating on the present

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am providing emotional support to the family of an advanced Alzheimer’s patient who has been institutionalized for 5 years. The patient was a brilliant scientist, greatly loved and admired by his sister and three daughters. As the scientist approaches death, his sister and daughters are troubled by the fact that their thoughts

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